Affiliate Marketing Scams To Avoid

Hey there, digital hustlers and aspiring moguls! Jeff Lenney here, your friendly neighborhood BS detector and guide through the treacherous waters of online marketing. Today, we're diving into the world of affiliate marketing scams that are so ridiculous, they'll make you wonder if aliens have secretly replaced human scammers with comedians.

Now, before we jump in, let me remind you of the golden rule: If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Unless you've discovered a way to turn cat videos into cryptocurrency, in which case, call me immediately. I've got some felines I'd like to monetize.

So, grab your skepticism hat and a strong drink (coffee, folks, I mean coffee... or do I?), and let's explore seven affiliate marketing scams that are more common than bad hair days in a humidity wave.

1. The Envelope Stuffing Extravaganza

Ah, the classic envelope stuffing scam. It's like the cockroach of the marketing world - no matter how many times you think it's dead, it just keeps coming back.

Real-world example: Remember "Global Learning"? This company promised $550 for every 100 envelopes stuffed. Spoiler alert: The only thing getting stuffed was their bank account - with victims' money.

Here's how it usually goes:

1. You see an ad promising you can "Make $1000 a week stuffing envelopes from home!"
2. You pay a "small fee" for supplies and instructions.
3. You receive a stack of flyers advertising the same envelope stuffing scam.
4. You realize you've just been had harder than a fish at a sushi restaurant.

Let's be real, folks. In the age of email and digital marketing, who's sending out enough mail to keep you employed stuffing envelopes? The only thing that's getting stuffed here is the scammer's wallet - with your hard-earned cash.

Pro tip: If someone's offering you a job that could be done by a slightly intelligent golden retriever, it's probably not a legitimate business opportunity.

2. The Envelope Writing Casino Caper

Now, let's talk about the envelope writing scam, the slightly more literate cousin of envelope stuffing. This one's got more twists than a pretzel factory.

Real-world example: The $5 Caesars Palace Credit scam. People were asked to write envelopes requesting a $5 casino credit, thinking they'd make money for each envelope. Plot twist: The scammer was the only one cashing in on affiliate commissions.

Here's the deal:

1. You're promised big bucks for writing addresses on envelopes.
2. The envelopes are actually requests for $5 casino credits.
3. You send them out, thinking you're making bank.
4. Plot twist: The only one cashing in is the scammer, who's collecting affiliate commissions from the casino.

It's like being an unpaid intern for a sketchy gambling operation, except instead of experience, all you're gaining is disappointment and possibly carpal tunnel.

Remember: If someone's asking you to write more than your own signature, they better be paying you more than a $5 casino credit. Your penmanship is worth at least $10, darn it!

3. The "Get Paid for Your Opinion" Online Survey Scam

Ah, online surveys. The promise of making money while sitting in your pajamas, sharing your thoughts on everything from toothpaste to nuclear physics. Sounds dreamy, right? More like a nightmare in sweatpants.

Real-world example: Survey Says-You're-Broke. Okay, I made that name up, but sites like SwagBucks and InboxDollars, while not outright scams, often promise more than they deliver. Users report spending hours on surveys only to earn pennies or be disqualified at the last minute.

Here's how it usually plays out:

1. You sign up for a survey site, giving them enough personal info to steal your identity (but they pinky promise they won't).
2. You spend hours answering questions like "On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like breathing?"
3. After 47 years of surveys, you've earned enough for a stick of gum. Congrats!
4. Meanwhile, the site is making bank selling your data to marketers.

Look, if your opinion was really worth that much money, your family would have started paying you to shut up years ago.

Truth bomb: The only opinion that pays well is the one you didn't know you had about a product you just bought. That's called a refund, folks.

4. The "Instagram Influencer Starter Pack" Scam

Welcome to the world of fake influencer scams, where anyone with a selfie stick and a dream can become a "thought leader" overnight!

Real-world example: Remember the Fyre Festival? While not strictly an affiliate scam, it's a prime example of influencer marketing gone wrong. Kendall Jenner was reportedly paid $250,000 for a single post promoting this disaster of a festival.

Here's the scoop:

1. You're offered a chance to become an "Instagram Star" for the low, low price of your dignity (and $499.99).
2. You receive a "starter pack" with tips like "Use hashtags!" and "Take pictures of your food!"
3. You're encouraged to buy followers, because nothing says "influencer" like an audience of bots and eggs.
4. You end up with an Instagram feed that's more artificial than the cheese in a fast-food burger.

Remember, folks: Real influence can't be bought. Unless you're a politician, in which case, carry on.

Reality check: If you need to buy a guide on how to influence people, you might want to reconsider your career choice. Maybe try something easier, like rocket science or brain surgery.

5. The "Done-for-You" Affiliate Website Wonderland

Imagine a world where you can have a fully-functioning, money-making affiliate website without lifting a finger. Now imagine that world is about as real as my chances of winning an Olympic gold in synchronized swimming.

Real-world example: "AffiliSites" and "AffiloJetpack" are prime examples. They promise turnkey affiliate websites but often deliver cookie-cutter sites that have about as much chance of ranking on Google as I do of becoming the next Batman.

Welcome to the "Done-for-You" website scam:

1. You're offered a "turnkey" affiliate website, ready to make you millions.
2. You pay a "small" fee of $997 (or your left kidney, whichever is worth more).
3. You receive a template website that looks like it was designed by a colorblind toddler with a grudge against good taste.
4. You realize you now own the digital equivalent of a pet rock - useless, but at least it's yours.

Here's the thing: A successful affiliate website is like a good relationship. It takes time, effort, and probably some therapy. There are no shortcuts.

Hard truth: If making money online was as easy as buying a pre-made website, we'd all be sipping margaritas on our private islands by now.

6. The "Affiliate Network" That's Actually a Black Hole

Let's talk about fake affiliate networks. These are the "Hotel California" of the affiliate world - you can check out anytime you like, but your money can never leave.

Real-world examples:

• Incentive Networks: A now-defunct network that left many affiliates high and dry when it suddenly closed shop.
• Several other networks have faced legal troubles or shut down operations after numerous complaints about unpaid earnings and account suspensions.

Here's how they operate:

1. You join an "exclusive" affiliate network that promises higher commissions than Amazon on Prime Day.
2. You start promoting products and seeing big numbers in your dashboard.
3. When it's time to cash out, suddenly there are more hoops to jump through than a circus poodle.
4. You realize the only thing that's been affiliated is your money with the scammer's pocket.

It's like playing Monopoly, except the banker is a con artist and "Go" is just a suggestion.

Reality check: A legitimate affiliate network shouldn't have more red flags than a bullfighting convention. If cashing out is harder than explaining TikTok to your grandma, run away. Fast.

7. The "Pyramid Scheme in Affiliate Marketing Clothing"

Last but not least, let's talk about those multi-level marketing (MLM) schemes that try to pass themselves off as legitimate affiliate programs. It's like a wolf in sheep's clothing, if the sheep was wearing a "Kiss Me, I'm an Affiliate Marketer" t-shirt.

Real-world examples:

• Digital Altitude: Shut down by the FTC in 2018 for operating a pyramid scheme.
• MOBE (My Online Business Education): Another FTC takedown in 2018, accused of bilking consumers out of millions.
• Empower Network: Collapsed in 2017, leaving many "affiliates" out of pocket.

Here's how they usually work:

1. You're recruited to sell a "revolutionary" product or service.
2. But wait! The real money is in recruiting others to sell under you.
3. You end up spending more on "training" and "tools" than you ever make in commissions.
4. You realize you're not an affiliate marketer, you're a pyramid scheme participant with a fancy title.

It's like being told you're joining the Avengers, only to find out you're actually part of Hydra's HR department.

Wake-up call: If the program focuses more on recruitment than actual product sales, it's not affiliate marketing - it's a pyramid scheme with a marketing degree.

Conclusion: Don't Be a Scam Sandwich

And there you have it, folks - seven affiliate marketing scams that are more common than bad WiFi at a tech conference. Remember, in the world of affiliate marketing, if it sounds too good to be true, it's probably trying to scam you harder than a cat trying to convince you it hasn't been fed in years.

Stay skeptical, do your research, and for the love of all that is holy, stop trying to get rich by stuffing envelopes. The only thing that should be stuffed is your brain - with knowledge, not false promises.

This is Jeff Lenney, your friendly neighborhood scam-buster, signing off. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some totally legitimate emails about enlarging certain body parts to attend to. (Just kidding - or am I?)

Stay savvy, my friends!

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