Legit Email Processing Jobs Do Not Exist! (The Brutal Truth)

The TL;DR Version (Because I Know You’re Busy)

Look, I’m just going to save you from reading this whole article unless you really want to: legit email processing jobs (with or without investment) DO NOT EXIST. They’re about as real as my chances of becoming the next Batman. These “opportunities” are just out to scam you faster than you can say “Why didn’t I listen to Jeff?

But hey, if you want to know why these “jobs” are as fake as my high school girlfriend (don’t ask), keep reading. I promise it’ll be more entertaining than watching paint dry. Slightly.

The “Too Good to Be True” Red Flag

Picture this: You’re scrolling through the internet, probably looking for cat videos or trying to figure out why your toaster isn’t working (pro tip: plug it in), when suddenly you see an ad:

“Make $25 per email processed! Work from home in your pajamas! No experience needed!“

And you think, “Hot diggity dog! I can finally quit my job at the rubber band factory and live the dream!”

Hold your horses there, partner. Let’s think about this logically for a second (I know, I know, thinking hurts, but bear with me).

Why This Smells Fishier Than a Tuna Factory

1. Companies aren’t stupid (well, most of them): Why would they pay you $5 or even $0.50 to send emails when they can automate that faster than you can say “You’ve got mail”?
2. The math doesn’t add up: These scams promise you can make $250 a day, $7,750 per month, and $93,000 per year. That’s like saying you’ll get paid CEO money to watch Netflix. Spoiler alert: You won’t.
3. No skills required? Really? In what universe does a high-paying job require zero skills? That’s like saying you can perform brain surgery with no medical training. (Please don’t try that at home.)

The Email Processing Scam: How It Really Works

Alright, let’s break down this scam faster than my resolve on a diet. Here’s the not-so-magical process:

Step 1: The Bait

You come across an ad or video promising you can earn big bucks processing emails. It’s usually something like:

• “Earn $25 per email processed!“
• “No experience required!“
• “Be your own boss!” (Because who doesn’t want to boss themselves around, right?)

They might even show you a fancy table like this:

Looks legit, right? Wrong. It’s about as legit as my claim to be the long-lost heir to the throne of Genovia.

Step 2: The Hook

You’re intrigued. You’re excited. You’re already planning how to spend all that sweet, sweet email processing money. So you pay the “activation fee” (usually around $25 – how convenient).

Step 3: The Shocking Truth

Drumroll, please… You get your “information package,” and guess what? It’s not about processing emails at all! Surprise! It’s actually instructions on how to post ads online – just like the one you fell for.

You’re taught how to:

• Spam forums (because everyone loves that, right?)
• Make fake videos (Academy Award, here you come!)
• Post flyers around your neighborhood (nothing says “legitimate business” like paper on a telephone pole)
• Create social media posts (because your friends haven’t unfollowed you yet)

The Ugly Truth: It’s a Pyramid Scheme in Email Clothing

Here’s how you’ll really be “processing emails”:

1. You post ads telling people they can make $25 for every email they process.
2. Someone sees your ad and thinks, “Wow, this sounds great! Almost as great as that email I got from a Nigerian prince!”
3. They pay you $25, and now you have to “process” their email by sending them the same instructions you got.
4. Rinse and repeat until karma catches up with you or you run out of gullible people on the internet (spoiler: you won’t).

It’s a pyramid scheme, folks. And not the fun kind with mummies and curses. Just the boring kind with disappointment and empty wallets.

But Wait, There’s More! (History Edition)

This “process emails from home” scam is actually a modern twist on an old classic: the Work From Home Stuffing Envelopes Scam. This gem started during the Great Depression in the 1920s, proving that scammers have been recycling ideas longer than hipsters have been recycling mason jars.

The Experts Agree: It’s a Scam

Don’t just take my word for it (even though I’m devastatingly handsome and trustworthy). Check out what the experts say:

• The Better Business Bureau (BBB) warns about this scam. They even made a video about it, probably because reading warnings is too much work for some people.
• The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) also warns about this. And when the government takes time away from redacted to warn you about something, you know it’s serious.

A Personal Confession

I’m about to blow your mind: I own multiple businesses. I know, I know, try to contain your shock. And guess what? My emails are more automated than my response to my mother-in-law’s invitation to dinner:

• Sign up for my email list? You get a free guide and a follow-up sequence faster than you can say “Why did I do this?”
• Buy something from one of my eCommerce stores? Your receipt and shipping info are sent quicker than I can come up with another analogy.
• Want a refund? It goes to my helpdesk faster than my hair went gray after having kids.

The point is, there’s not a single business on this planet that’s going to pay you $93,000 per year to send emails. If there was, I’d have hired my cat to do it by now. (He types surprisingly well for someone without opposable thumbs.)

So, What Now? (Besides Crying Into Your Cereal)

I have good news and bad news:

• Bad News: You’re not going to get rich quick processing emails. Sorry to burst your bubble like a kid with a pin at a birthday party.

• Good News: Making money online is a real thing! And it’s way more lucrative than these scams. How do I know? Well, remember this blog you’re reading? Yeah, I run it. And I make money with it daily as an affiliate for programs that teach people how to really make money online.

The Real Deal: Affiliate Marketing

Now, I’m not going to promise you’ll be swimming in cash like Scrooge McDuck. But affiliate marketing is a legitimate way to make money online. It’s how I afford my collection of novelty socks and premium cat food.

Here’s the quick and dirty version:

1. You promote other people’s products
2. Someone buys through your link
3. You get a commission
4. Repeat until you can afford that life-size Darth Vader statue you’ve always wanted

Want to Learn More?

Free Online Training, how to Build Your Business Online from Nothing…

Don’t mind the flashiness of the video, it may seem too good to be true, he’s the real deal and I would not recommend him otherwise.

Final Thoughts (Because All Good Things Must Come to an End)

Remember:

• If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
• No one’s going to pay you big bucks to do something a monkey could be trained to do (no offense to monkeys).
• Real online businesses take work, but they’re worth it.

And hey, if all else fails, you can always start a blog about why email processing jobs are scams. It worked for me!

P.S. If you’re still tempted by “email processing jobs,” remember: the only thing you’ll be processing is disappointment. Save your money for something more worthwhile… like my upcoming course on how to become a professional pillow tester. (Kidding! See how easy it is to fall for this stuff?) 😉

P.P.S. Want to learn about a REAL way to make money online? Check out my article on retail arbitrage. It’s like email processing, but actually legit and without the soul-crushing disappointment. Plus, you get to feel like a treasure hunter at your local Walmart. Win-win!

Read it here: What Is Retail Arbitrage? Adventures in Flipping Bluetooth Speakers